Pet Loss And Grief

Forward

Within these few pages I have attempted to create a reference for those who have, or know someone who has lost a pet. It is not meant as a "manual" on pet loss, as I feel there could be no such thing. Everyone will experience the loss of their beloved pet differently, and attempting to create a standard would be unjust.

Each of you will have different feelings at different times with regard to your loss. This is normal. Shaming or depriving yourself isn't healthy and should be avoided. If you feel as though it's too difficult for you to get through your grief alone, then by all means find someone who you feel comfortable talking with. There is a list of resources at the end of this publication if you would like to speak to someone trained in assisting you with your loss.

Most importantly, try to remember that you are not alone. There are thousands of pet lovers out there who have gone through the loss of a pet and who understand it. I've lost several of my own "fur babies" and it never gets any easier. However, I know that it is a part of life and always will be. I can't stop it, but I can also not let it stop me. This doesn't mean that I will ever forget my babies, but that I will carry their memory with me for all my days. And, when it's my time and when I cross the Rainbow Bridge, I'll have a herd of sloppy, wet kisses waiting for me.

Take care of yourself. Hugs.

Gail Heller, CH., PBCSC

Founder, Chance's Spot

Chaplain of Animals

Pet Bereavement Counseling Skills Certified

www.chancesspot.org

Pet Loss And Grief

Table of Contents

ALONE

SPEAKING OF LOSS

A TIME TO GRIEVE

DENIAL

ANGER

GUILT

DEPRESSION

ACCEPTANCE

A TIME TO HEAL

CHILDREN AND THE LOSS OF A PET

A TIME TO LOVE AGAIN

SURVIVING PETS AND GRIEF

Resources

Pet Loss and Grief, A Reference For Those Who Have Lost A Pet is brought to you by Chance’s Spot Pet Loss and Support Resources, a nonprofit organization that provides grief support, resources, and information in an effort to help those who have lost a pet. © Chance’s Spot. All rights reserved.

Pet Loss And Grief

Forward

Within these few pages I have attempted to create a reference for those who have, or know someone who has lost a pet. It is not meant as a "manual" on pet loss, as I feel there could be no such thing. Everyone will experience the loss of their beloved pet differently, and attempting to create a standard would be unjust.

Each of you will have different feelings at different times with regard to your loss. This is normal. Shaming or depriving yourself isn't healthy and should be avoided. If you feel as though it's too difficult for you to get through your grief alone, then by all means find someone who you feel comfortable talking with. There is a list of resources at the end of this publication if you would like to speak to someone trained in assisting you with your loss.

Most importantly, try to remember that you are not alone. There are thousands of pet lovers out there who have gone through the loss of a pet and who understand it. I've lost several of my own "fur babies" and it never gets any easier. However, I know that it is a part of life and always will be. I can't stop it, but I can also not let it stop me. This doesn't mean that I will ever forget my babies, but that I will carry their memory with me for all my days. And, when it's my time and when I cross the Rainbow Bridge, I'll have a herd of sloppy, wet kisses waiting for me.

Take care of yourself. Hugs.

Gail Heller, CH., PBCSC

Founder, Chance's Spot

Chaplain of Animals

Pet Bereavement Counseling Skills Certified

www.chancesspot.org

Preparing For Your Pet's Euthanasia

Burial vs. Cremation

You'll need to decide beforehand about how you want to care for your pet's body after euthanasia. Depending upon where you live, your finances, and other factors, there may be several alternatives for you. You should discuss your options with your veterinarian. Generally, there are two types of cremation procedures and three types of burials:

Individual Cremation: Your pet's body can be cremated at a special facility that cremates pets, and the ashes can be returned to you in a urn either to keep or to scatter at a location you may choose. These types of cremations are usually more expensive than a group cremation. It's also important to note that most pet caregivers are surprised at the small amount of ashes that are returned to them after having their pet individually cremated. However, don't forget that most living creatures are about 95% water.

Group cremation: You may choose to have your pet cremated with other pets. In this case, the ashes are usually not returned and the cost is much less than an individual cremation.

Burial at home: If it is allowed where you live (check your zoning restrictions), you may be able to bury your pet at home. Many people prefer this, but you should consider the fact you may move to a different home in the future.

Communal burial: Sometimes options are limited, and pets may be buried together at a common site. Some pet cemeteries and humane shelters may offer this service.

However you choose to care for your pet's body, you may wish to bring along your pet's toy, coat, etc., to be included in the burial box, if this is allowed. If you will be burying your pet, you will need to make arrangements regarding how you are going to transport your pet from the veterinarian's office to the burial site. Most pet cemeteries offer pickup, but be sure to check when making arrangements. You may also wish to inquire about funeral services, as many pet cemeteries offer this for an extra charge.

Making the Appointment with Your Veterinarian

It's best to schedule the appointment at a time when your veterinarian isn't rushed with other appointments. Requesting the appointment as the last one of the day or the first one in the morning is perfectly acceptable and quite common. Doing so will help you and your pet to be more relaxed. You may ask that your veterinarian provide your pet with some sedation prior to your appointment. This can be administered at home prior to the appointment, at a time specified by your veterinarian. If no prior sedation is given and once in the office your pet needs it, your veterinarian may wish to do so with a fast-acting injection. In a short time the pet will become relaxed and calm.

Preparing For Your Pet's Euthanasia

The Day of the Procedure

Prior to arriving with your pet at your veterinarian's office, you may wish to call and make sure he or she is on schedule. If necessary, once at the office you may want to wait in the car with your pet so that you can be notified to bring your pet directly into the exam room.

The Last Moments

To perform the euthanasia, first a catheter or needle will be inserted into a vein in your pet's front or back leg. Some veterinarians may choose to first inject a drug into the vein which will place your pet in a state of relaxation. Then, the drug used to perform the euthanasia (usually a concentrated solution of pentobarbital) will also be injected into the vein. In most cases, the injection works very quickly (5 seconds), but may be longer with older or sick pets.

The injection causes the pet's heart to stop beating. In some cases, the pet's muscles may relax or contract after the pet has died. Your pet may also void urine and stool. Involuntary contractions of muscles may result in the pet appearing to gasp, or move a leg. Your pet is not aware of any of these things happening, because they happen after their death. In almost all cases, the pet's eyes remain open after death.

Remembrances

After your pet has passed away, you may wish to be with them privately for a few moments. Many pet caregivers also wish to take something with them to remind them of their pet. It may be a lock of hair, a whisker, a clay imprint of the pet's paw, or the pet's collar or nametag. Others may just want to spend a few moments saying their last goodbye. Don't be afraid or embarrassed to ask your veterinarian for this time. Remember too, that it's perfectly normal and acceptable to cry.

Your Aftercare

It is perfectly normal to experience pain and grief after the passing of a special pet. You should take special care of yourself in the time immediately after the euthanasia and for a few days afterward. It will be best if you can have someone else drive you home and share the rest of the day with you, should you otherwise be alone. Understanding the grieving process and having various resources available such as pet loss hotline numbers and books on pet loss can also be beneficial. Chance's Spot has many resources for those who have just lost a pet, including a Pet Loss Message Board and a Support Group that meets every week. Please visit our Web site for more information at: www.chancesspot.org.

© Preparing For Your Pet's Euthanasia is copyrighted by Chance’s Spot, Pet Loss and Support Resources, a nonprofit organization that provides support, grief resources, and information in an effort to help those who have lost a pet. This publication may not be redistributed by any means without the express written consent of Chance’s Spot.

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